Today was the Asian Varsity Fencing Championships organised by and held at SMU. This year they defined varsities to include JC and poly students, so it was the first time these students attended what was a purely varsity only competition. Only two foreign unis came, UM and IUM, both from Macau. I prayed for a few nights and that morning that I would qualify into DE. Well, wording in prayers is very important, because God did answer my prayers, though in an unexpected way, as you shall see later below.

First of all I reported early in the morning at 830am. I had a light breakfast, and not much sleep the night before. Fortunately Mum sent me so I didn't have to carry the heavy and bulky equipment much - it's the mask.
After Maggie arrived and when she put on her socks did I realise I forgot my shoes (!!!!) and fortunately, praise God, Mum went home from SGH where KM was having an appt and brought my shoes for me in time, that I could suit up and stretch.

Nick was one of the two referrees from our uni, the other was ZP. Foil was held on 3 pistes on the 10th floor, which was more spacious than the 3rd floor, where epee was held. I enjoyed the natural sunlight and the beautiful view of the city skyline. I was slightly alarmed when I saw white smoke rising from CHIJMES, only to realise, after the others told me, that it was just fogging. cheh. haha i so sotong.

I got to meet and know a bit of one of my team members who I had not met before. She is from NUS but trains at ABF instead of our club, and hence I never met her till today. She's quite a strong fencer. Maggie, her and I form the female foil team.

I fenced in poule 1. There were only 21 fencers altogether, split in 3 poules. I am surprised and very happy with my performance in the poules because it is an improvement - 2 victories. But also two losses at 2-5, and one at 0-5. Especially when I fenced very de badly on Tuesday and Thursday during training, losing all my bouts. I was ranked 14 out of 20 - not so bad as last time in RJ Invites and Novices.

I was overjoyed to learn I qualified into DE, only to learn after that that everyone qualified into DE. First of all, there were not enough people. Secondly, one girl left her mask in the cab and hence had to pull out. So I here I have my first DE. I may not have earned it, but I got it. When I thought of getting to DE, I thought of doing it by earning and others would get eliminated, but here I am, my prayer was answered in an unexpected manner. [The tuesday after the competition, which was the first day of FAC, I talked to coach, and he was surprised everyone qualified, which he said should not be the case. He said it should have been eliminated to round of 16 already, for in any competition, 10% of the competitors from the poules, which in this case is 2.1 rounded up to 3 people, should be eliminated. So he asked me for my rank, which from calculations showed I still would have qualified if the elimination was properly done. :) So he made me realise my goal somewhat had been achieved. )

My bout was one of the first bouts of DE. While waiting for my turn I met and talked to these two girls who turned out to be from RJC (now called RI(JC)). I recognised one of them from the RJ invites, while she was at RGS. I found out that the friend I made was the one I was going to fence. They were the only 2 female foilists, for majority of them were epeeists and sabrers. For most of them, including the boy foilists, it was their first competition, for they just joined fencing when they entered JC (they were year 1). It was quite a small competition and because of that, a safe starting point for them to experience their first competition.

Within me, a competitive and possibly slightly vicious feeling came about. I was sure I was going to win that bout; I believed that because I had more experience I would win and hence further advance in the competition. I wanted to win. I apologised to my new friend that if my fencing would be hard on her, and she replied that she intended to lose and leave the competition.

Very soon it was our turn to fence. WC and ZP came to watch; the others were having lunch at the side of the room, but could see and watched a bit of me fencing. I thought they weren't watching me and going about their own stuff. I was wrong to have assumed they didn't care about me. apologies. At some points I scored I "yes!"-ed and some points I let in I also exclaimed. At the last part I began to chiong and lost several points to her because of her parry repose - my weakness. I was upset I lost 14-19. I threw my mask down onto the metal piste, then realised that I shouldn't have done that, then shook hands, thanked my friend, and walked off and cleared myself away to be alone. I went to the toilet, locked myself in the cubicle, and fortunately there was no one else in the toilet so no one could hear me talk. I asked God and myself, why did I lose? Why was I so stupid and behave so badly? It was one of those moments where in my heart I felt like being a drama queen and crying, but in reality I never did cry. I wondered if there was a lesson God was trying to teach me. In the book that I am reading, which I have yet to trust it's foundations for I don't see it's foundations, though I agree with the intentions, the author (whose credentials show that he was a reputable teacher in Bible schools and is already dead) posits(i am not sure if this is the right word to use) that God will keep bringing us back to the point till we get the lesson; He will keep bringing us down till we have learnt the lesson then we can advance. So I pondered and thought on the issue as well as past ponderings I had.

I came to a realisation or conclusion that God was trying to teach me to be humble. I do recognise that I have the tendency to be "jiao aou" (proud/extreme version: cocky) of my skills when I have attained a certain level of it. That is where I place my personal pride in. I tend to have the thought that "I am better than you." when I realise I am/or could be/ better than the other person. It's like a primary 6 girl is smarter than a primary 5 girl. Like when I was a lot younger (and it still affects me now somewhat), age as seniority was a very important consideration for me. I have to remove that pride. I will never be number 1, nor will I achieve fame or anything great, at least till I lose that pride.

It seems that also, that I am to play a supporting role in the lives of others. I am like a stepping stone, or a base, or loader, to the flyer (as I was in cheerleading), helping my friends upwards onto achieving greater things while I remain on the ground. I want to fly (both metaphorically and literally), but this loader is to stay on the ground, to help people up, and possibly catch them when they fall, and help them up again. I will probably achieve nothing great, have a name that remains unknown to most, but I hope that when I leave this earth, there will be many or some people who remember me deeply because I have touched their lives.

Then it was the men's foil poules. I went to support them at their pistes and take photos. Downstairs, Khai, Justin and Kian were fencing epee, and JR was supporting them.

After Khai finished his poules, he immediately put on his lame after a short breather and went up for his foil poules. fortunately he was in the later poules. There were 7 poules in total. The poules took a really long time to complete, so the girls waited for a very long time for the round of 16, by which then they had already cooled down a lot. By the round of 8, all 3 of us were eliminated. (considering there were 3 national fencers, of which 2 from NTU (both were in my poule!) and 1 from NP.)

So watching the matches, with my toes going cold since I was wearing flipflops (so un-environmentaly-friendly Aerene keeps commenting and I agreeing. it's too cold!) It ended with the national fencers and Bobok in the last 4 places. Bobok (his surname) is from JC, in the class next to mine. His fencing is wicked! His point control is so fine that it looks like he is just touching the lame on the other side just enough, like the blade point is his own finger. And he somehow always maintained his composure and his general silence, exclaiming only a few times. He gave some of the national fencers a tough time. (not surprising since his father is the coach of the national team, and his mother is also a coach, now coaching pamela. His father came to support him but didn't get himself involved much, just watching.) I spoke to Bobok after he fenced finish - I was familiar to him but he couldn't remember from where, so I explained to him and found out that Pamela was still fencing (and that's how I found out his mother was her coach). I will list the results of the indivs with the team ones near the end of the post.

Dinner was at the nearby open air food court, where the food wasn't very nice, and I think I angered the drink stall auntie :|. During dinner, YL told me that someone wanted to scold me for my behaviour, that it was ungraceful, that I should have controlled my emotions, and not let it take over me. Yes I know I am wrong. I have a lot to learn. lessons to be learnt: one: humility, two: grace, three: relax, four: don't lose belief in myself. and 5: lose all my ego. might want to add "focus". I made an effort to remember them, and hopefully I will in the longer future as well. Team event in next post.