At this point of time my thoughts:
1) more depraved has the world become. The terrorist attack in Nice was more disgusting in execution than the previous ones on foreign soil. Back in the Syria & Iraq continue the abuses that go unreported. Bombing, rape, More of their own countrymen are suffering than foreigners. How could this have happened? Selfish greed, lies using distorted "religious facts" to legitimize the Daesh leaders' clamour for more power.
2) like a flower that dried up and dropped off the plant, my time is over. ASEAN university games is happening now. In my time in NUS there wasn't such opportunity to take part in high profile comp (World Uni Games clashed with my exchange, the athlete selection by NUS Sports office was stringent, like one already had to be in National Team or something). Once in a while I think I was a better fencer in uni year 3 (when I got silver in novices) than I am now, and wonder if I could have represented as a women's foil candidate given that there were not many other women foil fencers in local uni. Now I won't have such a privilege to enter such competitions, or even be good enough to get selected for it. I am struggling to catch up with my peers and the recollection of what happened at recent nat trials ... Sigh.
I won't give up this sport because it is always intriguing, and it is the one sport I could "do well" in. The sense of achievement I don't get elsewhere. If I give it up, I would just be OT-ing in the office or staring at the TV. Procrastination king.
Thanks for your attention. I am looking forward to weekend.