just some thoughts I have had floating around in my head/mind/heart for some time recurrently. Right now no work at the office (I FINISHED MY WORK! :D) and making use of the internet here for entertainment, and that at home the internet is down, plus I reach home too late to turn on computer.

How much our dreams and aspirations change as time flies by. Do you remember your dream job when you were in kindergarten and primary school? "I want to be a doctor!" "I want to be a teacher!" "I want to be a vet!" astronaut, policeman, etc... The answer was fixed, no hesitation when asked for an answer to that question "What do you want to be when you grow up?"

How many of us have actually kept to this dream and worked towards it?

Do you remember what university or what you wanted to study in university when you were a secondary school student (or what secondary school we wanted to go to when we were in primary school)? We became a bit more informed of the many types of jobs in the various industries out there, and we became certain where our skills and talents generally lie (what we are good at and what we were so not). We also get more influences from the world around us. For most of us, the dream changed.

And then comes JC. For the students going poly, they already had to figure out what exactly their dream was, or what they don't mind doing, as their career for they had to pick a course specifically tailored to industry needs for the many occupations. Those who were uncertain of their dreams, or for other reasons, went to JC. The process that happened in secondary school continued, more influences, more awareness and either a more informed firm decision or a lost drive to achieve aspirations.

Looking back to more than a decade ago, do you see how much we all have changed? How many of us have kept to that same dream we had those very young years? I know a few who have. The rest have all changed and are going to do/are doing something we totally didn't forsee when we were younger.

For me, I'm still lost, I have no one dream I can call my dream occupation. I can't answer the question "What do you want to do when you grow up?"

I can say somethings I don't want to do; but the most important thing I don't want to be, career-wise, is that I don't want to be Another One, like all the rest of the people, a boring, uninteresting, meaningless job, just One of the Many, One of the others. Nothing significant. You know what I mean, don't you? I don't want to blend and fade away.

I want the excitement, the enjoyment, the fufilling purpose, I want to say "I want to go to work!" when I wake up. I can't say that. I could say that when I was schooling.

Oh, how I miss school. 12 years I've spent in school, learning new things, getting them mastered, making new friends and building on those friendships. All the laughter and interesting things; not one day was the same. I just want to start uni so I don't have to work anymore (for now). I want the fun back, and more freedom in my schedule (my time is pressed!).

What is my earthly dream? But ultimately, it all has to please God. The ultimate goal for me and all Christians is to be an obedient child of God and do what He wants us to do. It sounds very simple but it's not, and the joy that can be reaped from this, though some may not see it from what I've written, is immeasurable, that's why they say "a fountain of joy".

The other thoughts have been quite secret until now. But I will not write them here, I will write them somewhere else cos 1) this entry is getting too long. 2) I don't think I want everyone to find it now. Better safe than sorry cos I don't think i'm in the right mental state now; i might be publishing these things too rashly.

Ah yes, I'm learning night classes for driving so that's why I'm pressed for time. The reflections of the headlights in the rear-view mirror can be a bit blinding. Fortunately I have a bit of experience in night driving since I took evening classes before.

And tomorrow is College Day, so I get to see my classmates again! :D :D